It is only a couple of days before the opening of Learn to be Latina, our 30th season’s closing production!
Today we are happy to share with our readers a personal story from Joaquin Lopez, a Latino artist and member of Los Porteños, inspired by the premise of Hanan’s fictional story and his true life experiences in the pursuit of stardom.
¡Muchas gracias! to Joaquin for sharing what, frankly, it is so close to the story of Learn to be Latina that it gives one goosebumps!
THE HOLLYWOOD CASTING COUCH
By Joaquin Lopez
It was the summer of 1999. The
setting: a posh talent management office on Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills.
setting: a posh talent management office on Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills.
I remember it like
yesterday. Fresh out of college. I was twenty-four.
yesterday. Fresh out of college. I was twenty-four.
I walk in. Resume prepared.
Headshots in hand. A monologue from George Bernard Shaw on repeat in my mind. I
was ready to knock’em dead. I introduce myself, perform my monologue, and BAM!
They loved me. I was perfect for the Latin Invasion that was about take over
Hollywood, they said. Jennifer Lopez was just entering the Hollywood crest.
Ricky Martin was the buzz about to release his break out single ‘La Vida
Loca’. I had silver screen success on my
mind. Ambition in my soul. A dreamer’s pulse in my heart.
Headshots in hand. A monologue from George Bernard Shaw on repeat in my mind. I
was ready to knock’em dead. I introduce myself, perform my monologue, and BAM!
They loved me. I was perfect for the Latin Invasion that was about take over
Hollywood, they said. Jennifer Lopez was just entering the Hollywood crest.
Ricky Martin was the buzz about to release his break out single ‘La Vida
Loca’. I had silver screen success on my
mind. Ambition in my soul. A dreamer’s pulse in my heart.
We’d like to work with you. You got everything it
takes. The look. The name. The talent. We can start sending you out. But,
there’s something that worries us. Has anyone ever told you you come across as
gay?
takes. The look. The name. The talent. We can start sending you out. But,
there’s something that worries us. Has anyone ever told you you come across as
gay?
What?
You’re gonna have to work on that. Also, can you
come next week and do a monologue for us that’s tougher, more macho, more
Latino?
come next week and do a monologue for us that’s tougher, more macho, more
Latino?
I was speechless.
Watch ‘The Devil’s Advocate’ with Keanu Reeves and Al
Pacino. They’re really tough. Learn from them. Latinos are tough, macho and
you’re going to have to deliver that.
Pacino. They’re really tough. Learn from them. Latinos are tough, macho and
you’re going to have to deliver that.
Unable to process what was
going on, I felt like someone had tore my heart out, threw it out the window
and stepped on it.
going on, I felt like someone had tore my heart out, threw it out the window
and stepped on it.
Sure. I
said, defeated. I had to learn to be Latino. I had to learn how to not be gay.
said, defeated. I had to learn to be Latino. I had to learn how to not be gay.
How the fuck do I learn to
be Latino? How do I learn to not be gay? I struggled for a whole week. An anger
began to swell inside me. I couldn’t think straight. I began to resent being
gay. I began to resent not being tough. I began to resent I was Latino. I was
humiliated to think that I had what it took to be a success. I never showed up
to the second audition.
be Latino? How do I learn to not be gay? I struggled for a whole week. An anger
began to swell inside me. I couldn’t think straight. I began to resent being
gay. I began to resent not being tough. I began to resent I was Latino. I was
humiliated to think that I had what it took to be a success. I never showed up
to the second audition.
It was only one opinion.
But, I was young, naïve and very sensitive. It ate me up alive. So, I quit acting. Dropped my acting class. Entered a depression. Eventually returned to
Portland, humiliated. I stayed in a dark place for a very long time.
But, I was young, naïve and very sensitive. It ate me up alive. So, I quit acting. Dropped my acting class. Entered a depression. Eventually returned to
Portland, humiliated. I stayed in a dark place for a very long time.
Everyone believed in me. I
felt I let the whole world down.
felt I let the whole world down.
Fortunately, I grew.
In life there’s very little
I have control of. I can control my actions. I can control my speech. I can control
what I choose to eat. But, I can’t control that I’m gay. I can’t control I’m Latino. I can’t control
I’m very fair skinned. I can’t control my genuine easy-going demeanor. I can’t
control I’m not a macho aggressive Latino. These are the given circumstances of
my life. They make me who I am. And, there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m proud
of it all.
I have control of. I can control my actions. I can control my speech. I can control
what I choose to eat. But, I can’t control that I’m gay. I can’t control I’m Latino. I can’t control
I’m very fair skinned. I can’t control my genuine easy-going demeanor. I can’t
control I’m not a macho aggressive Latino. These are the given circumstances of
my life. They make me who I am. And, there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m proud
of it all.
I invite you to Milagro’s
production of the comedy Learn To Be Latina. The plays enters the world of how much one is willing to give up a
part of themselves to become who they want to be, to achieve their idea of
success. For artists who live in a society where cultural stereotypes dictate
how others perceive our value—and we all want to be valued—how do we negotiate
ourselves in such a way that is true to who we are? And succeed?
production of the comedy Learn To Be Latina. The plays enters the world of how much one is willing to give up a
part of themselves to become who they want to be, to achieve their idea of
success. For artists who live in a society where cultural stereotypes dictate
how others perceive our value—and we all want to be valued—how do we negotiate
ourselves in such a way that is true to who we are? And succeed?
Join me and enter this
world in Learn To Be Latina. It
promises to be an engaging, serio-comic theatrical tour de force directed by
the talented Antonio Sonera with a stellar cast. Opens May 1st
through May 31st. For more information contact the box office at 503-236-7253 or www.milagro.org. Get your tickets today!
world in Learn To Be Latina. It
promises to be an engaging, serio-comic theatrical tour de force directed by
the talented Antonio Sonera with a stellar cast. Opens May 1st
through May 31st. For more information contact the box office at 503-236-7253 or www.milagro.org. Get your tickets today!